Helping Your Child Regulate Big Emotions: Or…how to make a “calm” kit.
Many children have difficulties regulating big emotions. A big emotion can be happy, sad, mad (which includes frustrated) or scared. A big emotion is one that makes it hard for a child to function. Feeling big emotions is ok, but sometimes kids need help calming down when the emotion gets overwhelming or in the way of daily activities.
We suggest the following item in a calm kit:
· A visual cue system geared to your child’s understanding level teaching the child how to use deep breathing. This could be a picture of a candle or a written explanation on how to utilize tools like square breathing or 7-11 breathing (google these strategies for a quick how-to).
· A choice board or choices actual items that you know help your child calm. This could include music, a weighted blanket, going for a walk, getting a hug, swinging, playing with a special toy, getting a drink or even just sitting quietly.
Remember, when someone is overly emotional this is not a good time to talk about the situation or the feeling in depth. Think of a time that you have been very angry. What would happen if someone said, “You need to calm down”? You are even more frustrated, right? Instead wait for the child to calm then you can help him or her process the situation and what feelings the child felt. If possible help your child quantify the feeling too. Where you a little sad? Did you feel big angry feelings or medium? If your child seems to be off target model what an appropriate level of feelings would be. Someone accidently breaking your crayon seems like you might be a little sad or a little mad. Help them problem solve and find a solution. Make sure the child is praised for calming and working through the feelings. Reassure the child that having hard feelings and big feelings is ok.
If you have questions or concerns about your child’s emotional regulation please feel free to contact us at 651-636-4155.
December 19, 2016