Mother’s Day is almost here and it’s wonderful to recognize all mothers; however moms who have children with special needs often need to do everything that all mothers do plus a whole lot more.
These are the moms for whom the first months of sleeplessness extends into years. They are the moms who become experts on their child’s diagnosis, therapies and education plans. They have learned to manage continual appointments with medical specialists and endless meetings with educational specialists. They have had to learn an extensive vocabulary of medical and educational terminology as well as insurance codes.
Complicated schedules have become the norm. Those who have kids with special diets know how to spot dangerous ingredients in a cupcake from a hundred yards away. Those with behaviorally challenging kids can handle a tantrum while folding laundry and planning dinner. Many even find the energy to organize support groups, get involved with agencies that offer activities for their kids, and advocate for other families as well as their own.
This strength and love and commitment also extends to their other children as well. These moms can take enormous pride in their success in raising compassionate, competent kids whose experience with their brother or sister with a difference has made them sensitive to the needs of others.
For mothers of children with special needs, Mother’s Day does not always mean a relaxing dinner out or a wonderful gift. A qualified babysitter is hard to find and sometimes money is more often spent on other things the family needs. Sometimes children with special needs can’t understand a holiday, can’t carry a tray to give her breakfast in bed and won’t be bringing her a bunch of violets or a card made all by himself. These moms celebrate their day with their different child in a different way.
They find joy in the knowledge that they are nurturing a child’s spirit as well as her health. They take satisfaction in knowing that each accomplishment, however small it may look to others, is a major victory. Each of her child’s achievements is at least partly her own. She knows the value of her efforts and the importance of keeping a positive attitude and counting the blessings of every day.
Still, it never hurts to hear all this acknowledged. Loving words of appreciation from a partner, spouse, friend or extended family members do mean a lot. If you know such a mom, reach out this Mother’s Day and let her know that you see her for the amazing person she is. A phone call or visit or card may seem like a small thing but for a mom with a child who has special needs, it can really make her day. The support of others added to her own commitment is what makes it possible for her to take that breath and get ready for another day.